Excerpt from And Wake Me With the Morning Light:..."Toby
was a sweet little boy who loved to be hugged, carried, and rocked to sleep at nap time by his teachers...
"But he also had an angry
streak. I don't remember him ever being very violent with any of the kids at TLC. He was more likely to lash out at adults,
if he didn't get his way about something, or if something went wrong, or if he was in a bad mood. Everyone at TLC had memories
of chasing an angry, adrenaline-high Toby down the halls, and attempting to keep him from running right out the front door,
into the shopping center parking lot...
"I remember having to restrain
him one morning, to keep him from running away. I'd already spent most of the morning chasing the frustrated boy around TLC.
Having learned from experience that Toby was a head butter, I restrained him facing me, sitting on the floor with his back
against a wall, his feet between my knees and his hands in mine.
"I sat there with Toby, trying
to catch my breath and wondering what to do next...
"That day, as I held Toby
down, he spat in my face and screamed, 'I hate you! I hate you!'
"Each time he said
it, I replied calmly, 'But I love you!' It was a tactic Joey used to use when I was angry with him.
"'No you don't!'
Toby finally protested. 'You hate me! I'm bad!'
"'You're good!'
I said. 'All little boys are good. You're a good boy, Toby.'
"'I'm bad.'
He actually curled his lips into a snarl, and growled like a rabid animal.
"'Toby,' I said
wearily. 'Right now your behavior is making me sad. I don't like it when you run from me, or try to hurt me, or spit
at me, or say mean things to me. But I love you...'
"My words barely made a dent
in Toby's rage. We went for several more rounds of chasing and restraining, before he finally fell asleep, exhausted, in my
arms."
